


how not to flirt

by fadedtouches



Category: EXO (Band)
Genre: M/M
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-06-09
Updated: 2018-06-09
Packaged: 2019-05-20 04:06:52
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,703
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/14887319
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/fadedtouches/pseuds/fadedtouches
Summary: stealing isnotthe right way to get someone's attention.





	how not to flirt

**Author's Note:**

> prompt: [a] may or may not have a crush on [b] who doesnt have any idea he exists so [a] steals so that [b] will notice him
> 
> wasn't really sure what rating i should set this as but i decided since we are talking about stealing i guess it's safer to be rated T. please remember: stealing is bad, children

"You're drooling," Jongdae observes gleefully.

"I am not." Jongin wipes at his mouth anyway. There is no drool. "Shut up."

The young man at the cash register is handsome, Jongdae has to admit. Soft brown eyes, full pink lips, and deep dimples. He can see why Jongin is so smitten.

He's dressed casually today, and Jongdae can practically hear Jongin gushing. "He's so gorgeous like this," he'd said last time. He does, with his messy hair and baby blue sweater. He looks like the embodiment of pureness and innocence. If Jongdae didn't already have a girlfriend, he definitely wouldn't mind flirting with this guy.

"If you like him that much, you should do something about it," Jongdae suggests.

Jongin turns to him with wide eyes. "What? No! I don't like him like that! He's just..." he trails off when Jongdae gives him a pointed look. "Okay, fine," he pouts, "but what can I do? He's  _Zhang Yixing._ Everyone is a little bit in love with him." He gestures around the restaurant, where there are several people not-so-subtly staring at him as he works.

Jongdae waves it away like it's not a cause for concern. "Well for one, you could go up there and introduce yourself. Ask for his number. Go on a date. Get to know each other, then get married and live happily ever after! Simple, right?"

"I'm going to strangle you."

"Ah but then I wouldn't be here to offer such great advice!" Jongdae laughs, picks up his things and stands. He pats Jongin on the head condescendingly. "Don't worry Jonginnie. I, your best friend, will listen to you and give you tips whenever you need it." And then he's out of the door, still laughing at Jongin's misery. He needs a new best friend.

 

★

 

Jongdae doesn’t know this, but Jongin actually does go to the restaurant outside of their weekly lunches.

It doesn't mean Yixing knows who he is, though. He's not even around most of the time, but Jongin feels compelled to support his family's business by eating there all the same. He's never been fortunate enough to get to talk to Yixing when he's helping out at the restaurant.

It’s a late Friday today. Jongin just got out of dance practice and hasn’t had anything to eat since lunch. He declines Sehun’s invitation to have late dinner together with the rest of them, planning to just go home and sleep, maybe pet his dogs for an hour before actually falling asleep. It's a good plan. He's exhausted.

He doesn't know how he ends up at the Chinese restaurant at nine-thirty.

The sign on the door says ‘closed’ but the lights are still on, and there are still a couple of tables occupied; probably late customers finishing their food. The cute guy is sitting there again, engrossed in a thin paperback.

Without thinking, Jongin pushes the door open and walks over to him with no plan in mind. Yixing doesn’t seem to have noticed him yet, so Jongin clears his throat awkwardly to get his attention.

“Oh, I’m so sorry,” he says. Jongin wants to crawl in a hole and die. His voice is so lovely. “May I help you?” he smiles at him, and Jongin is flustered suddenly.  _Why the fuck did I do this? Holy shit what do I do now?_

Mind racing and thoughts panicked, he does the first thing he can think to do: he swipes the smartphone lying forgotten on the table and runs. Away from the restaurant, away from Yixing.

“Hey!” he hears Yixing cry out indignantly.

 _Fuck, fuck, fuck._ He thinks as he trips over a bush, phone gripped tightly in hand. He's not the fastest runner and he's carrying a backpack. He can't tell if Yixing is chasing him.  _Why did I fucking take his phone? Oh my god, holy shit._

He's about to make a mad dash for an inconspicuous alley when something barrels into him, knocking his breath out and sending him tumbling to the ground. "Oof!" 

There's a heavy weight on his torso pinning him down and his head is spinning at the sudden impact. His legs are starting to feel like jelly now. The weight on his torso moves, and he gasps for air, though now he's been trapped under a strong pair of thighs. He cracks his eyes open, and it's Yixing, frowning down at him. Suddenly he can't breathe again.

 _Why did I even do this?_ he thinks in despair.  _Now Yixing probably thinks I'm a thief. No wait, I_ am  _a thief._

He tries wiggling the arm that's holding Yixing's phone to get free, but Yixing presses tighter, and Jongin can feel his face starting to heat up. "Don't move," Yixing orders. "I know kung-fu."

"Sorry," says Jongin, voice small and embarrassed and guilty. "I really didn't mean to take your phone. I didn't do anything to it, I swear."

Yixing ignores him and plucks the phone out of his hands to inspect but doesn't move from his spot on top of Jongin. Deeming nothing wrong with it, he pockets it and frowns down at Jongin again. "If you didn't mean to take it then why did you run?"

"It was an instinct! I didn't know I would take your phone. Honestly! I'm so sorry."

Yixing gives him a look like he's crazy, but Jongin doesn't blame him. If Jongin were in his shoes, he'd think he was crazy too. He stares at him as if he can find the answers to Jongin's stupidity if he stares hard enough and Jongin can only sweat nervously. He finally lets up after what feels like an eternity of scrutiny. "Give me one good reason I shouldn't call the police on you, Kim Jongin."

"You-- I-- What..?" Jongin asks dumbly. "You know who I am?" He's too stunned at the fact that Yixing knows his name to register that he just threatened to call the cops on his thieving ass.

"Jongdae texts me all these things about you, all the time. He says you're not a bad person, but you _did_ just try to steal from me."

"But," Jongin protests weakly. Yixing is still pinning him down, and he's about to combust. "I wasn't... I... I don't know what came over me. I just panicked." Jongin mutters, face hot with embarrassment.

Yixing looks amused now. "Ah, I have an idea," he says, grinning. "Why don't I get your number so that if you try something like this again I can report you?" He pats at Jongin's pockets as he starts to squirm again and successfully finds his phone. "I'm not going to run off with it, don't worry."

Yixing sends a text to himself on Jongin's phone and saves the number then for some reason pats his cheeks like an exasperated mother would before finally,  _finally,_ getting off and helping Jongin to his feet. He hands the phone back and waves his own at Jongin's face.

"Don't let me catch you stealing things again, Kim Jongin," says Yixing playfully. "I have your number now."

"Yes, of course," he agrees hastily, then bows. "I'm so sorry! Again."

"I have to get back to the restaurant now," Yixing informs him, face remorseful. "I'll see you around!"

 

★

 

The rest of the walk back home is uneventful. Jongin tries not to think about Yixing's nice thighs and how he had straddled Jongin with them, and Monggu leaps at him when he finally opens the door. There's no food in the fridge, but that's okay since Jongin has a stash of emergency snacks in his room.

When he finally settles down on the bed with a pack of chips and opens his phone to text Jongdae, he finds that Yixing hadn't exited from the messaging app.

 

 

> **_21:42_ **
> 
> **Unknown Number:** you're as cute as daedae said you would be ヾ（〃＾∇＾）ﾉ♪ wanna go out sometime?
> 
>  

"HOLY SHIT." Jongin says loudly. His sister bangs on the wall to shut him up.

"Have you lost your mind again, Jonginnie?" she yells through the wall. But Jongin doesn't care. Because Yixing thinks he's cute. And he used a cute emoji. And what is up with the second part of that message???

 _Did he just..._ He takes a screencap of the message to send to Jongdae.

 

 

> _**21:50** _
> 
> **jongin:** fuck u hyung
> 
> **jongin:** u never told me u and yixing are friends???
> 
> **jongin:** but also thank u
> 
> _jongin sent an attachment._
> 
> **jongin:** hyung help me what do i do???
> 
> **jongdae:** what else, idiot?
> 
> **jongdae:** tell him yes!!!
> 
> **jongdae:** get him boi ೕ(•̀ㅂ•́ )
> 
>  

So he does. With Jongdae's meddling (or encouragement, whatever), Jongin and Yixing arrange for a date at the park. It's the most boring and cliche setting ever, and they both are aware that Jongdae is following them around in what he thinks is a stealthy manner. But Jongin honestly couldn't care less, because the person he likes has noticed him and they are finally on a date and tomorrow they're going to get married--

_Okay, brain, let's not think about that yet._

 

* * *

 

**_Alternate ending:_ **

“Hey!” he hears Yixing cry out indignantly.

 _Fuck, fuck, fuck._ He thinks as he trips over a bush, phone gripped tightly in hand. He's not the fastest runner and he's carrying a backpack. Yixing is chasing him. He's a _really_ fast runner.  _Why did I fucking take his phone? Oh my god, holy shit._

He's about to make a mad dash for an inconspicuous alley when Yixing barrels into him, knocking his breath out and sending him tumbling to the ground. "Oof!" 

 _Why did I even do this?_ he thinks in despair as Yixing plucks his phone out of his hands and dials the police.  _Now Yixing probably thinks I'm a thief. No wait, I_ am  _a thief._

He tries to squirm, but Yixing presses tighter, and Jongin can feel his doom approaching. "Don't move," Yixing orders. "I know kung-fu."

"Sorry," says Jongin, voice small and embarrassed and guilty. "I really didn't mean to take your phone. I didn't do anything to it, I swear."

"Tell that to the judges," Yixing tells him.

Jongin gapes at him. "Wait. What?"

And thus Jongin makes The Worst first impression ever.


End file.
